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Haters Gonna Hate

The line at the supermarket register today was long and moving slowly. This gave me ample time to study the covers of all the magazines I never read. According to them, Barbra Streisand is a bitch and James Brolin wants a divorce, Kim is making Khloe feel miserable...

Waiting for Hefner

[Another one from the archives.] Unless you had a VIP ticket, everyone was instructed, via email, to park in a parking garage in Century City.  From there, a shuttle would take us to the mansion.  I get to the parking garage at 9pm, half an hour after check in began. ...

I Was an LAPD Reject (part four)

The physical test ended up being rescheduled due to a bad storm, some flooding, and a power outage. Which was probably for the best, because it would have been a total waste of time, anyway, since the LAPD rejected me.The way it works is that you get a letter in the...

I Was an LAPD Reject (part three)

I would say that this next step in the process terrified me the most, but it didn’t. After my background investigation meeting, and chatting with the friendly man in the cardigan, I was feeling pretty optimistic about things. I was more curious about the lie detector...

I Was an LAPD Reject (part two)

We ran laps around the track and on the streets around the academy. If you were in the beginner group, you ran approximately two miles on the local streets, plus the endless laps the supervisor would inflict upon us whenever our rows weren’t straight enough or...